Woman sends boyfriend's 6-year-old to bed hungry because he won't eat her cooking, boyfriend calls her 'ignorant': 'I wouldn't hold his children to different rules'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 21, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Children are notoriously picky about food. They like what they like, which is usually something along the lines of chicken fingers and buttered pasta. I was picky when I was a kid. There wasn't a lot of non-beige food I would eat. But I grew out of it. Now, I eat everything. But it wasn't because my parents pressured me to. I just naturally started to be curious about different foods and ate them at my own pace. I don't know if it would have worked if my parents were on my back about trying new foods. I might have rebelled against them and stayed a picky eater even longer just out of spite. 

But every child is different, and every parent is different. There's no one way to raise a child, and sometimes they might need a little prodding to diversify their diets. But if you have two parents with differing opinions, you might find some conflict over this.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10482584064
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

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  • That's what happened in this story when a man's girlfriend was watching his two young children. But when she made meatloaf and broccoli for them, they weren't too happy about it. But when she implemented her usual parenting tactics, her boyfriend had a lot to say about it.

  • 02

    AITA for telling my boyfriends kids to eat what's for dinner or don't eat at all?

    127f have been with my boyfriend30 for a little over a year now. We recently moved in together. I have a 8 year old from an ex, and my boyfriend has 2 kids ages 6 and 9. Since we moved in together I now have his children every weekend and he works fridays, so I am alone with them til he is off work.
    via u/Grouchy-Pride5486
  • 03
    Friday night I made meatloaf with roasted broccoli and mash potatoes. My son eats well, he knows to eat the best he can, and if he don't finish his food that's okay but he atleast has to eat the most he can unless he don't want a before bedtime snack. I hold my boyfriend children to these same rules which we haven't had any
    via u/Grouchy-Pride5486
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    issues with til Friday night. Neither of the kids liked the food, the 9 year old ate it, the 6 year old refused in which I said I'm not making you another meal, so he went to bed without dinner. When my boyfriend got home his 6 year old was complaining he was hungry and my boyfriend got upset with me that I refused to make him something else. I told him I wouldn't hold his children to different rules then my child.
    via u/Grouchy-Pride5486
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    He got upset and ended up making him something else to eat, then told me that was horrible of me to "deny a child dinner" and blamed it on his young age, explaining I had to be more lenient. I explained that I had raised a young child before and I was once a young child and followed those same rules, which just resulted in a huge argument, and him calling me ignorant.
    via u/Grouchy-Pride5486
  • 06
    Today we got a call from my boyfriends ex, and now the children don't want to come til Saturday, or Friday night late when my boyfriend is off work. This caused another big argument between my boyfriend and I. He once again called me an ignorant ahole, and said I needed to change my way of thinking. AITA?
    via u/Grouchy-Pride5486
  • 07
    Add: I did not force this kid to go to bed hungry, I suggested him to eat a larger portion of his mash potatoes and smaller portion of other things which he refused, and he didn't want to make anything else himself.
    via u/Grouchy-Pride5486
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  • 09

    Commenters had some questions about how this situation went down.

    Wi... • 14h ago Edited 6h ago Did the kids flat out refuse to try it? We have a three bite rule. Try three bites if you don't like it you may help yourself to fruit, yogurt or make yourself a sandwich or something or the sorts. Did you allow them a healthy alternative that they could help themselves to?
    via u/Wickedlove7
  • 10
    Did he know of your rule prior or was this the first time the rule came to surface ? YTA for not allowing the kids to go make themselves something else. You don't need to make two meals, but people are allowed to dislike something. At 6 they should be capable of making a sandwich or a bowl of fruit for themselves as an alternative.
    via u/Wickedlove7
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    Grouchy-Pride5486 OP 14h ago • The 9 year old tried it and ate some of his plate, the 6 year old refused to even try a bite. He was aware of this rule prior
    via u/Grouchy-Pride5486
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    anonidfk 13h ago . Have you had discussions about enforcing rules for each other's kids? If you've had that discussion and are both fine with each other making rules for each others kids and enforcing them that's one thing, but otherwise, you don't really get to just decide to hold his kids to the same rules you hold yours too if he isn't okay with it.
    via u/anonidfk
  • 13
    You'd be in the clear to not want to cook for his kids if their dad isn't supportive of your food rules, it's not your job to cook for kids that aren't yours and you don't have to do it if it's. causing you problems. But you don't get to set rules for his kids and hold them to it if their actual parent isn't okay with those rules, that does make you TA in my opinion, just because it's not really your right to set rules for anyone kids other than your own without their parents approval.
    via u/anonidfk
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    You probably wouldn't like it if he was pushing rules you didn't agree with on your kids either, so don't do that to his kids.
    via u/anonidfk
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    CartoonistFirst5298 • 13h ago Yeah, being so ridged that you let a 6 year old go to bed with empty stomach is pretty cold and I'm just gonna say ignorant for the sake of argument. Your one an only justification is 'this is way it's always been, my parents were strict ah_les and now I'm gleefully following in their footsteps cause I want to be a gigantic ah le too'.
    via u/CartoonistFirst5298
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    That does not cut it for me. I think you need to be aware that young children offered food in starvation situations will sometimes literally starve to death rather than eat unfamiliar, unpalatable food. It's the reason internationally food organizations adapt donation food to different countries/regions/cultures.
    via u/CartoonistFirst5298
  • 17
    Now, before you start saying this is a different situation, sure it is. But the basic concept of children going hungry rather than eating unfamiliar/unpalatable food remains the same. Hunger is physically uncomfortable and even painful. You did that to a 6 year old.
    via u/CartoonistFirst5298
  • 18
    What do you get out being cruel to a child for literally no reason? You could have offered a him a folded peanut butter and jelly sandwich or anything so he didn't feel the pain of hunger. I don't care what anyone this thread tells you, there was no reason for you to do this. To me, it's just advertising that you're a self-centered, clueless, fool with no empathy for you boyfriend's children. It's easier to be cruel and then pretend like it wasn't all that big a deal, right?
    via u/CartoonistFirst5298
  • 19
    Since you refuse to understand even when spells it out for you, I think the best bet would be for him to put you and your child out. His little 6 year old son should not be forced to suffer the pain of hunger because of your ignorance. YTA.
    via u/CartoonistFirst5298
  • 20
    shark_grrl 14h ago • YTA. I'm assuming that you're well intentioned and feel that this is the most helpful approach for kids development so you're not TA - for that but this approach is outdated and not helpful for development. It teaches kids to ignore their own bodily sensations, hunger cues, etc. which makes it harder for
    via u/shark_grrl
  • 21
    them to self-regulate their own eating and food choices in future. It can also create a negative/punitive relationship with food. Even if it is working for you kid, not every kid is the same and may not work for your boyfriend's kids. It's not ok to have a child go without dinner (or without food for an extended period when they're hungry).
    via u/shark_grrl
  • 22
    The main part YTA for though is that this isn't your child. You don't get to decide how to parent the child, especially if the child's parents both agree on how the child should be parented and treated and you're trying to go against that.
    via u/shark_grrl
  • 23
    If you are unwilling to care for the kids in any other way, then you need to tell your boyfriend that you can't look after them for mealtimes, and accept however he decides to proceed around that. You DEFINITELY don't get to be annoyed that the kids don't want to come over for those
    via u/shark_grrl
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    mealtimes. I would also refuse to spend time around someone who made me experience significant physical discomfort and denied me access to food.
    via u/shark_grrl
  • 25
    . stroppo 14h ago NTA, and you should think about moving out. And breaking up, after being called "ignorant." You were raised in a different way, that doesn't make you ignorant. I was raised the same way; eat what's served or you don't get to eat.
    via u/stroppo
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    But, you do say there were no issues until this one dinner. Why do you think that is? Was there anything especially different about the food? Meatloaf and potatoes sounds pretty standard. There are jokes about people
    via u/stroppo
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    not liking broccoli, which I never understood, as I always liked it, but kids generally gravitate to meat and potatoes so it sounds like there were other things they could've eaten. What made this meal different?
    via u/stroppo
  • 28
    tempuratemptations • 13h ago ESH, only because of his age. Kids shouldn't go to be hungry when they don't need to. Your bf s ks for being ride and calling you names. It's wild that he expects you to have his kid for most of the day yet wants to call you names when your parenting styles differ. He needs to pick a lane.
    via u/tempuratemptations
  • 29
    That being said, i understand your rule, and I too grew up on that. However if I didn't like the food, I would have to make my own food, sandwich, cereal, cup noodles etc. if that wasn't available my mom would do something quick and simple. Not a whole new meal, just
    via u/tempuratemptations
  • 30
    something for me to eat. It's not a good lesson for a child to be forced to eat something they don't want or be hungry. Seems kind of like a power play on your part too tbh. If you refused to make him something simple like a sandwich.
    via u/tempuratemptations
  • 31
    There is definitely a middle ground between teaching them to try new food and to be grateful for what they have, and going to bed hungry because he didn't want to eat your food.
    via u/tempuratemptations

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